my trip to Venice this weekend was awe inspiring to say the least, a minimum of a week would be needed to fully take in half of the city and gain an infantile understanding of even a quarter of it. i began my trip from the train station and immediately proceeded to deliberately lose myself in the labyrinth of buildings, shops, and vendors-i succeeded. about the time i was ready to find my way back i also became unignoringly agitated, the constant bombardment of aromas from the several pizzerias and ristorantes was intoxicating and i felt obliged to stop at one...not counting the two gelato shops i browsed along the way. the food, like much of the food in many of the small cafes in Italy, was not only delicious but brought on tempting thoughts of wine and espresso.
after leaving the cafe i continued my search for "alla ferrovia" so i could at least have a point of reference so i could buy a few items and also in case i got seriously lost. as it turns out, it was too late; the bottled water and fanta i had walked around with seemed to form a comraderie with the machiato and glass of wine i had enjoyed at the cafe and were conspiring to make and lapse of movement excruciatingly uncomfortable. i continued to calmly attempt to retrace my steps but to no avail. i was lost and i had to pee--BAD!
i ended up finding not only two of the most sought after landmarks but also a hard-rock cafe, a puma store, and two armani stores. my predicament was obviously beginning to affect my problem solving skills because after perhaps half an hour i realized i had only walked in a large circle; to say the least i was exhausted from having to restrain my bladder the entire time! i continued my search no longer for the train station, but now for a bathroom; i followed all signs and arrows that led to the fabled toilette only to discover that public toilets are pay per use, (WTF!!!) i knew that i had no energy left to fumble in my pockets for the 1,50 Euro it would cost to use so i wisely decided to continue moving despite my brief consideration for using an unoccupied alleyway.
*for any debating a trip to venice it is indeed wonderful, however do not pass up the chance for a map...i was lucky enough to chance upon one near the pay bathroom*
surprisingly and despite my terrible sense of direction i was able to find my point of origin although at first it was unrecognizable because i came from a different direction. yes, i had circled the entire fucking map. i remembered that a somewhat seductively glistening italian woman on the train had been in line at a bathroom at the train station so i went there. i was wrong of course because there was no bathroom, it was actually a ticket booth or something. i walked swiftly back outside and down the path i had first travelled, i happened across a Hotel Continental and the name seemed to imply to me that they spoke some semblance of english. HOORAH!!! I WAS IN LUCK!!! i asked a man behind the counter if i could use the bathroom and he gracefully with what i could only imagine was a quickly fading smirk pointed me in the right direction.
relieved now. i finished my day by buying my mom more stuff she didn't need but would undoubtedly find a use for, dissassociating myself from street vendors eager for the rest of my monopoly money, and finding a train back home.
the moral: don't be a dumbass use a map or a camel pack.
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